A Unique Life Fully Lived: A Personal Journey of Love, Hope and Courage

My name is Karen Kain, I was a parent for 15 years of a medically fragile child. My daughter Lorrin was injured at 6 weeks of age by her one and only DPT vaccination. The vaccine left her severely brain injured and she had seizures every day of her life, often lasting 5 minutes or longer. Lorrin never walked or talked, she was cortically blind, fed through a feeding tube and breathed out of a hole in her neck, called a tracheostomy. In the beginning the doctors told me a handful of nevers. Your daughter will never walk or talk, she is a bad egg and you should place her in a home and get on with your life.

I was devastated. My life as I knew it was over. Little did I know that Lorrin would become my greatest teacher. The first time Lorrin communicated via dream state she was four months old. It was then I knew she was special, with all of her disabilities she began teaching me powerful life lessons. The wonderful thing about having modern medicine give up on Lorrin, was that it opened the door for me as her parent to make up my own rules. I knew that Lorrin was a powerful soul and I always believed that her life was important no matter her ability.

In the beginning I did all that I could to fix her. I felt the same feelings that many new parents of unique children feel: broken, afraid, desperate and punished. I didn’t understand that the healing needed to take place in me. I desperately sought out healers and energy workers. I was told that I was a young soul and Lorrin was a master. In 1994 there was no Internet so my plea for help was on foot, writing letters and asking questions. I did anything and everything to “heal” her. It wasn’t until after her 3^rd birthday I realized that she was perfect the way she was. It was me who needed to be fixed/changed.

An excerpt from my book –

For the rest of Lorrin’s life I continued to question fate, healing, and karma, it still puzzles me to this day. She taught me to look at life differently. I knew she was making a choice to stay and I also needed to make choices; to embrace life, enjoy and learn all that I could from it. I learned to focus on living in the moment. Not worrying about Lorrin and how long she would be here but really celebrating the time that she was alive.

No one ever expected Lorrin to live but after the tracheostomy she became strong. Due to her severe brain damage there were many things wrong with her and we had to go through different surgeries to fix her body: a rod put into her spine, rebuild both hips, remove her tonsils, and an implant to help her seizures, to name a few. Most of her life she took more than 4 anti-seizure medications, 4 medicines to help her breath and all kinds of other drugs, drops and tinctures to help her live her best life. I did my best to find the balance between modern medicine and alternative treatments. Looking back I have no regrets. I did my best. I learned that sometimes you can do everything right and things can still go wrong. I met some amazing people along the way.

By the time Lorrin was 9, I learned that she had much control in what was taking place in our lives. We both had our own separate soul agreements. I learned that what I focused on I could bring into my life. Every year in January we made vision boards and put our time and energy into things that we wanted to attract into our lives, not on what we couldn’t do or what was lacking.

When we worked together we could make miracles happen.

Lorrin was a Girl Scout, had mainstream friendships, swam with the dolphins, went to school dances, was in the school musical and a beauty pageant with 240 mainstream girls. We pushed the boundaries in all that we did. In January 2009, Lorrin told me in a dream that she was ready to go. Keeping my promise to her I wanted her to die with dignity and grace as she had lived. It was a tough year for us both. We were one and disconnecting was painful. During this time Lorrin wanted to pick out geodes and energize them to give to her loved ones. She was always the teacher. She died in my arms December 22, 2009. She never was afraid and told me that I did not see what she saw. Her wish was that she wanted me to trust life and be happy.

So how can I explain to parents that I am ok with Lorrin not being physical? It is hard to put into words, it has been a journey and the biggest life lesson. My inner peace comes from Lorrins’ teachings, which begin with a true knowing and faith of a belief system. She told me, “Mom, Life is just a coffee break and our time on earth is brief.” We are here to learn lessons of love. I believe that Lorrin and I have lived many life times together; her taking care of me and visa versa. Before she came here she agreed to this body that appears to the rest of us as a horrible existence, as I agreed to be her mother. Lorrin had a huge faith in God and was totally comfortable with who she was. She understood higher realms and communicated to people in many different ways without words.

I feel lucky to have lived fully with Lorrin and I’m grateful to be able to have the opportunity through my speaking engagements to encourage parents to dig deep into their beliefs, enjoy life and understand that parenting comes in many packages. It is an honor to care for our unique children. They have come here with great lessons of love.

About the Author

Karen Kain was raised in Southern California, where she gave birth to her daughter, Lorrin. It has been Karen's dream to share the lessons that Lorrin taught her about navigating life's journey with love, acceptance, faith and courage.

To order books and for more info: www.karenkain.com

"My daughter Lorrin was like the Grand Canyon. Some people stand at the edge and see a huge hole; while others witness one of God's wonders."