Essay 1
The Presence of God What is your concept of God? Do you remember what you learnedabout Him in childhood? As an adult, how do you experience God in your life? Do you feel His Presence with you? My awareness of God was already with me in childhood. Though the God of my childhood was very scary in one aspect: He was a punishing God who would come down from heaven on a white charger and lop off my head with a sword. This view came from one of my aunts who kept saying, “It’s not as if God will come down and cut our heads off with a sword.” It’s odd how a comment like that got twisted around in my child’s mind to believe that He would. Perhaps it was her tone of voice that caused me to believe that God was a vengeful God. Perhaps she was trying toconvince herself that God was a good God. This vivid description of a punishing God had me confused and worried. To this day, I’m not sure why she said this or what her beliefs were, I only know this image of God that she portrayed scared me and caused me to worry and fret unnecessarily. Regardless of this fearful God, I felt the Presence of God in and around me when I was a child. When I was outdoors as a child or alone indoors, I felt a warm, loving feeling surrounding me. I felt embraced, safe, secure, and loved. I felt peaceful in God’s Presence. This was a real gift, which I welcomed, for I received very little love from my abusive family. God was there in spite of everything. That was the beginning of my understanding that God is always with us in every circumstance and every place and that He loves us unconditionally. Looking back, it seems remarkable, yet God was very real to me, very alive and active in my living. No matter what we do, no matter where we go, God is with us. We can’t hide from Him, and we don’t need to, as He is loving and accepting. This God has nothing to do with the punishing God of my aunt’s remark. I felt God’s Presence outdoors when climbing trees, lying in the grass looking up at the clouds and thinking up philosophical questions, or running free through the fields behind our house. I remember sailing across Great South Bay to the ocean in my uncle’s sailboat with him, my aunt, and my cousin. My uncle was a good man with a wonderful smile and a love for his own children as well as for me. I always felt safe and accepted when I was with him. Those sailing trips are some of the best memories of my childhood, a kind of reprieve from home. I was safe with my aunt and uncle, and I could feel God’s Presence in the wind on my face, in the warmth of the sun, and in the sound of the waves “splapping” against the side of the boat. When we set sail, our destination was usually Garbage Cove on the bay side of the island that separated the ocean from the bay. Contrary to its name, Garbage Cove was clean. Upon arrival at Garbage Cove, we would tie the boat up, gather together our food and other necessities, and walk across the island to the ocean beach. We spent the day building elaborate sand castles, walking the beach, and collecting driftwood, some of which had to be left behind so as not to sink my uncle’s boat. We swam in the ocean, and my cousin and I “bottomed” the waves. We had to wait until we were standing in at least two feet of water as the waves washed up on the shore before we sat down on them with a great big splash, kind of like a cannonball into a pool. We experienced a sense of freedom and timelessness on that beach; we lived in the joy of the moment. The day flew by, and before we knew it, it was close to sunset. We’d head for the boat, stowing everything on board. My uncle would start the outboard motor, and we were on our way. As we motored back to the dock, I listened to the sound of the outboard, harmonizing with the music that was there, creating entire symphonies in my mind and heart. It was a beautiful way to end the day. God was ever present throughout the entire experience. When I was in junior high, I had a Sunday school teacher, Mr. A, who told us that we needed to come to church on Sunday and attend Sunday school and worship service. He specifically told us that we would not find God out on the bay in a boat. This didn’t ring true for me, as I already was having very real experiences that connected me directly with God. To me, God seemed more present out on the bay in the fresh air and sunshine, gliding over the waves in the sailboat with the wind blowing on us than in that Sunday school class. As a child, I didn’t realize that Mr. A was completely out of touch with God. He would drone away about dogma and doctrine with no reference to the Presence of God in our midst. God was there in spite of the fact that Mr. A drew our attention away from Him as he bored us with his didactic monologue. I don’t remember anything specific that Mr. A said to us except for not finding God out on the bay. I did learn that grown-ups may have a viewpoint that goes contrary to ours, even when we are children. I had to learn to trust what I felt to be true, what was in my thinking, and for me, accurate. God is present with you as you read these words. His very Essence permeates your being. You breathe Him in and out. He exists with you everywhere. I feel God everywhere I go: as I walk in the halls where I work, while driving around town, shopping, at home, in the shower, sitting in my recliner, resting in His love. Everywhere! |
Copyright © 1998 - 2024 Mystic Living Today All rights, including copyright, in the content of these Mystic Living Today web pages are owned or controlled for these purposes by Planet Starz, Inc. Terms of Service Disclaimer and Legal Information For questions or comment, contact Starzcast@mysticlivingtoday.com. Reproduction of this page in any form is not allowed without permission of the author and the owner of this site. All material on this web site, including text, photographs, graphics, code and/or software, are protected by international copyright and trademark laws. Unauthorized use is not permitted. You may not modify, copy, reproduce, republish, upload, post, transmit or distribute, in any manner, the material on this web site. Unless permissions is granted. If you have any questions or problems regarding this site, please e-mail Webmaster. Web site design by: Creative Net FX |