What Does It Mean To Be Psychologically Mature?

By Barbara Berger

Barbara Berger

Do you ever wonder what characterizes a psychologically mature person? I’ve thought about it a lot – both on my own personal inner journey of awakening and because I work as a coach and therapist on a daily basis, trying to help other people with their issues.

Here are some of the things I’ve discovered. First of all, as you start to become more mature psychologically, you realize that most of us are actually quite immature psychologically. So much so that in reality we can often be like four-year-old kids running around in adult bodies. This is not an accusation or a criticism, but rather an observation of how things are. So even though we have adult bodies, many of us are actually quite psychologically immature and confused about a lot of things – that’s just the way things are. And as a result, we often perceive life as being difficult and we may experience a great deal of unhappiness.

As we become more psychologically mature, we begin to realize that our daily experiences in life are determined not so much by what is happening in our lives but rather by how we relate to and hold these events and other people in our minds. In other words, we begin to understand that our thoughts, beliefs and expectations determine our experiences and that we can actually look at these thoughts, beliefs and expectations and begin to ask ourselves if these beliefs serve us. Once we begin on this process, we start to wake up to our own inner power and our ability to understand and take more control of our life experiences grows and increases.

As we embark on this journey of awakening, we also slowly become more psychologically mature and then one of the first things we begin to notice is that life is no longer such a struggle. In fact, as we mature psychologically, life becomes easier and a much more interesting adventure (regardless of outer circumstances and what’s going on) – and as a result, we actually experience more happiness.

So what characterizes a person like this – a person who is more psychologically mature? First of all, when a person becomes a more mature adult, he or she has a much more realistic assessment of the human condition than people who are psychologically immature. And as a result, he or she has more realistic expectations to him/herself and to other people.

Here are some of the other characteristics of a more psychologically mature adult.

- You understand that life is challenging (for everyone)
- You realize that no one is perfect (including yourself)
- You don’t have such unrealistic expectations to life, other people and/or to yourself as you did before (you are kinder)

- You understand that making so-called “mistakes” is part of the human condition and in fact the way we learn (we all evolving souls)

- You understand that things aren’t so black and white
- You don’t generalize
- You don’t catastrophize
- You’re no longer such a drama queen (you realize that even if things seem difficult, you can probably figure it out)
- You have a more easy-going attitude to life and its challenges
- You are living more in the present moment, taking one day at a time
- You stop basing your decisions and actions on assumptions but are able to do reality testing first
- You don’t go to extremes but prefer the middle way
- You’re not so judgemental about other people because you realize that you can’t possibly know what’s best for other people (or even for yourself)
- You don’t blame other people for your problems
- You take responsibility for yourself and what’s going on in your life
- You have the ability to look at yourself more realistically and assess your strengths and weaknesses more realistically
- You can say “I don’t know” or “I’m sorry” without losing face
- You have a more healthy sense of self-esteem
- You’re usually grateful for all the good in your life
- You’re pretty happy most of the time

May You Enjoy This Day!
_____

About Barbara Berger
American-born Barbara Berger is the best-selling author of “The Road to Power – Fast Food for the Soul” (published in 30 languages), “Are You Happy Now? 10 Ways to Live a Happy Life” (published in 21 languages) and “The Awakening Human Being – A Guide to the Power of Mind”. Barbara's latest book is "Find and Follow Your Inner Compass – Instant Guidance in an Age of Information Overload". All her books can be ordered on Amazon.com. Barbara also works as coach, helping people around the globe come into alignment with their own true power. For more about Barbara see her Web site: http://www.beamteam.com

Share this article with friends!