Mark Twain said, “The two most important days in your life are when you are born, and the day you find out why.” For me, understanding “why” came like a velvet hammer when I was twenty-two.
Raised in a home by severe physical and emotional abuse, I had married into an abusive relationship. One morning, around 4:00 A.M., I was crying on the sofa when suddenly I left my body and was sucked up into a vortex of exquisite Kaleidoscopic light. Traveling in this glorious light, I saw many images of unfamiliar places, such as a curved drive way lined with evergreen trees. I was in absolute euphoria . . . I laughed and laughed. Because I’d seen visions, my husband thought I was crazy, and he put me in a mental hospital where I was drugged for nine days.
I walked out and took a good, long look at the world. I decided it’s the world that is crazy! The world is a circus of greed and fear and betrayal. Now, that is INSANITY! The SANITY is the love I had come to know in the kaleidoscopic light. Much later, I learned that A Course in Miracles says, “A madman thinks the world he sees is real and does not doubt it. Nor can he be swayed by questioning his thoughts’ effects. It is when their source is raised to question that the hope of freedom comes to him at last.” (W-132.1:5) Thank God I’m Crazy!
I was inspired to write a book for others, and to call it THANK GOD I’M CRAZY, My Journey to Sanity, to share what actually became prophetic visions, which taught me that when we can see the insanity of our lives, this opens the door for us to see the sanity of the love that we all really are
To my astonishment, over the years, my life began to unfold as if living in a dream that I’d had—and was again remembering—as over several decades all those places in my visions actually happened! I’ve included pictures of them in the book. The first prophetic vision came when I’d learned that my former husband was having an affair with my best friend. As I drove up her driveway, I suddenly knew this was the vision I’d had in the kaleidoscopic light; the curved road with the evergreen trees with the sun shining through them just as I’d first seen. Instead of completely collapsing into my situation in severe depression, a beautiful calm came over me. I understood right then, that there was a power within me—but it was not of me, and somehow it was guiding me.
Miraculously, my visions became like symbols that guided me over a twenty-year, miracle-filled awakening as I realized I am not the victim of the world I see. Through this unique unveiling to symbolic vision, I saw the oneness of everything. Simultaneously, my view of the absurdity of this world had shown me that nothing I see means anything. Yet . . . there is a holy purpose. With a little willingness, symbolic vision led the way to leave my abusive marriage, and tugged at my inner knowing until I confronted a deeply buried block of horrifying abuse from my early childhood. As I learned to trust this voice, and myself, I was guided to face many hidden fears, and to lay them to rest through radical forgiveness.
With the help of the Course, I began to know that this power that is not of me is in everything I see because it is in my mind—and my thoughts are somehow images I have made. Afterall, my mind saw images when I was twenty-two, and IT was seeing them once again. My aha was that IT is God that I am seeing in everything—because God is in my mind.
Carl Jung, said, “Symbols are a psychological mechanism that transforms energy.” Symbols stir a knowing within us that cannot be heard in the world of form. I’ve learned that literally everything in my seeming physical existence is a symbol waiting to teach me of my innocence and the oneness of all. The power of symbolic vision is in each one of us. To see symbolically is “. . . a new kind of projection.” (W-30.2.1)
A helpful, fun exercise I like to use in my workshops to dramatize this vision is a familiar image that can be seen as a scouring witch or an elegant lady with a hat. Then I share the Course quote, “You either see or not. When you have seen one thing differently, you will see all things differently. The light you will see in any one of them is the same light you will see in all of them.” (W-28.2.6)
I wrote my book in animated detail to describe what heightened awareness of one’s own symbolic vision and underlying guidance can look like that might otherwise be missed. Our collective dream is like a hologram. The word hologram defined is holos, or whole, and gram, or message. Within a holographically symbolic dream, reflections of the whole message are seen as love uses the dream to save the mind from illusion. “You live by symbols. You have made up names for everything you see.” (W-184.1.1) [vision] “. . . has something to show you; something beautiful and clean and of infinite value, full of happiness and hope.” (W-28.5.2)
For twenty-five years I felt like an alien here as I had kept all my visions a secret while living out my assignment as a mother, teacher, and a businesswoman. After all, people would think I was crazy! Until—one day, I met A Course in Miracles, which says that all of life is a dream and everything in it is a symbol. Really? That did it! A Course in Miracles gave me the courage to come out—and to write it all in a book. Halleluiah!
Flashbacks of euphoric kaleidoscopic light continue to assure me that there is another way of looking at the world. So, when I find myself staring into the headlights of fear, I stop, tell myself—I am insane right now—then laugh and say . . . Thank God I’m Crazy!
Grace Avalon, author of Thank God I’m Crazy, is a teacher, relationship counselor, and speaker who challenges others to trust their intuitive inner voice in all situations. She gives seminars for anyone whose known abuse, thought they were crazy, or wants to live a meaningful life. For more information please visit: http://www.graceavalon.com
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