We Need to Know
It has occurred to me that almost everything about this life is based on need! Think about it. When we were inside another person's body (and I promise you everyone started life that way), we really didn't need anything! We were not aware of anything other than where we were. Being in a hot, noisy water environment was life! We didn't eat, we didn't breath.. we just floated around and maybe all we 'needed' was the host to listen to nice music? Fact is, we are born not knowing how to be alive!
We come from a warm world of water and, in a painful process, we are forced out of our simple warm world into a cold, bright, noisy environment that requires us to breathe or die! Talk about need! Life starts with it! The word that describes life in this world, in this form is 'need'. We need to breath, to eat. We need temperatures not too hot or too cold. We need the right food and drink. Then comes the hard part, we need other people to care for us! Remember, we have never seen other people outside of our water world...we don't even know this people-world exists. Then suddenly it does, and amazingly we need them! We need something we did not even know existed! So not only do we need the air and food and water, we then need the approval and love and attention from these creatures we have never seen. Then to top it all off, our personal, natural instincts and urges and quirks kick in and all the sudden we are part of this air world that is all based on 'needs'!
Is that why we get into some of the situations we find ourselves in? Maybe our personality mixes with the natural instincts, and that mixes with our genetics and that is attached to our physical environment and it all causes us to be who we are! We may not be able to change the genetics but the rest of it can be changed even if it's how we choose to see it! We can figure out what we need and why, and maybe how to get it, or let it go. I often wonder how much of it we can change. I think that is the answer to a good life. To figure out what we need, and why, and how to make the changes to bring it all to a decent, livable level!
Looking back on life is a good way to identify how some of our actions were based on our needs at the time. Then we can ask ourselves where did that need come from. We are at the mercy of nature a lot of the time. I mean 'mating' and having children is built in. To most of us that is a 'need' whether we like it or not. The good part about it in this day and age is, this need is now a choice. In fact it has occurred to me that most of our 'needs' are now controllable! It is in our power to think about it and deal with it, change it, fix it, or figure out how to live with it. Once we are aware of how it all got there, it becomes a choice about how to think about it, how to deal with it. Choice. Believe it or not that intense sadness can be calmed and put in a soft place. We may not be able to change it, but we can acknowledge it, explain it, and choose how we deal with it.
Make a list of your needs... not your wants. It might take some time to separate the two. Ask yourself why you 'need' the things on the list, then ask yourself if you want to feel that way anymore. I am amazed at how much of the sorrow we feel is based on a need and identifying that need opens the door to dealing with it, managing it, or at the very least, how we choose to think about it. The love that didn't happen?...you needed it, you felt it in such a way that you actually 'had' it, you experienced the emotions! It served its purpose. Now is the time to put it on the soft memory shelf and figure what else there is out there you can choose to need. [Smile] A lot of what you need has now become a choice and a lot more of life is now yours.
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