Have you ever talk to someone who made the statement that “when I grow up I’ll never parent my children the way my parents parented me?“
It seems like almost everyone that you talk to has made that statement at one point or another in their lives.
But how many people, with the best intentions of not repeating the dysfunction from their childhood, are actually able to get away with it once they get into a love relationship or have children?
For the past 30 years, number one best-selling author, counselor, master Life Coach and minister David Essel‘s been helping people to understand how easy it is to repeat the mistakes of our parents, when we were children, and also at the same time of how to change these thoughts and behaviors around.
Below, David shares his thoughts and this most important topic, if we want to see a change in our love relationships.
“For over 30 years now, in helping people to understand why they do what they do in love relationships, we have had a huge percentage of my clients who began in denial, when I make the comment that they might be repeating patterns that they saw growing up by their mom and dad in regards to relationships.
So many times, my clients will say “David, I’m nothing like my mom and dad…“.
But when we look at the reality of their relationships, or their parenting skills, the opposite seems to be more often the case.
As an example, in our brand new book “Love and relationship secrets… That everyone needs to know!“, I share the story of a young man who said when he got married and had children that he would never treat his children the way his parents treated him at dinner time.
He grew up in a very strict environment, where every vegetable, even if you hated it, had to be cleaned off the plate in order to get up and leave the table.
Needless to say, as he shared with me, many nights he would sit at the table for hours upon hours refusing to eat the vegetables, but unable to do anything about it.
Now we fast forward to today: he’s a dad, with a young child and he told his wife that he would never be the tyrant at the dinner table that his parents were.
But unbeknownst to him, he had become the tyrant!
He was not aware, until his wife brought up what she was observing in regards to his behavior and their young child, that he was repeating exactly what he said he would never do once he had his own children.
In our book, we share stories like this and also give even more tips on how to let go of the past patterns, many times love and parenting patterns , that have been set into the subconscious mind between the ages of zero and 18.
Once we can see the pattern , we can break it. But unless we can see that we’re repeating those things from childhood that we said we would never do, it’s impossible to break a pattern that you cannot see.
Slow down. Get help in order to heal the way we parent as well as the way we act in love.“
David’s work is highly endorsed by individuals like the late Wayne Dyer, and celebrity Jenny Mccarthy says “David Essel is the new leader of the positive thinking movement“.
His work as a counselor and master Life Coach has been verified by Psychology Today and https://Marriage.com has verified David as one of the top relationship counselors and experts in the world.
He is the author of 11 books, including his most recent one on love and relationship secrets.
For more information on all David does, please visit https://www.davidessel.com
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