Relationships are so important. When everything else has faded - our jobs, our possessions, even our health - it is our relationships that remain. They can contribute to a wonderful life or they can dismantle it piece by piece, sending us into the darkest depths of frustration. Lucky for us, there is a way to ensure that we always have good relationships. Learn and hold dear this simple truth: your relationships are simply mirror images of your relationship to yourself. Do you know yourself? Right now you are determining the quality of your relationships through your perceptions and your belief systems about yourself. Unfortunately, few of us truly understand these belief systems, and we never stop to question them. For most of us they have long ago left the realm of belief. They are now truths – infallible and unquestionable.
Here they are:
“No one will ever truly love you.”
“Life is all about hard work and struggle.”
“You have to sacrifice to get what you want.”
Sound familiar? We all have these and many other nagging beliefs, and we do our best to drown them out and get on with life. I say “STOP THAT!” This is the worst way to handle them. The more you drown them out, the more they gain power over you. They will haunt you. No matter how many distractions you come up with – getting a better job, finding “less toxic” friends, learning how to truly “be yourself”– it doesn’t matter, they will keep whispering and your subconscious will keep listening, and you will keep acting accordingly. You can’t get off this train. That is why, in our ignorance, we create undesirable situations and difficult relationships.
To make real changes in life, we have to look within. We have to uncover and heal these faulty beliefs. If you begin to do this honestly, you will see your life begin to shift. That will be lovely, but it’s not the best part. The best part is that if you do it long enough and with enough dedication, you’ll eventually abandon the whole approach entirely. You will realize, through your constant explorations, that all of these belief systems, all of these oh-so-important convictions mean nothing. They mean nothing because they belong to your personality, and your personality is a finite experience that will eventually come to an end. You are infinite. You are one with us all. Can you imagine how your relationships would improve if you came from that perspective? What if you could experience in your daily life your true, unlimited self? You can. You just have to show yourself through dedicated exploration that you are not your personality, your feelings, nor your belief systems – you only believe you are! Shift that belief and wake up to the infinite you. Then your “personality” will be an expression of your love for yourself. And your relationships will reflect that. Wouldn’t that be a nice change!
Sara Chetkin was born in Key West, Fl in 1979. When she was 15 she was diagnosed with severe scoliosis, and spent much of the next 15 years traveling around the world seeking healing and spiritual insight. These travels and explorations are the basis for her first book, The Healing Curve. She graduated from Skidmore College in 2001 with a Bachelor of Arts in Anthropology. After graduation she moved to Somerville, MA and worked in various cafes and restaurants, while pursuing an education in herbal medicine as well as in spiritual studies at Delphi University in McCaysville, GA. In 2004 she began a master’s program at the New England School of Acupuncture, and in 2007 earned a Master of Science in Acupuncture and Oriental medicine. She is a Ro-hun therapist and an Ordained Minister with the Church of Wisdom, Delphi University. She lives in New York State with her husband, Brecht, and their son, Adrian and daughter, Rosalie.
In addition to spending many hours in her own kitchen, Sara was a baker at Lazzaroni’s Lakeside, in Cassadaga New York, at Baraka Café in Cambridge, MA, and she followed multiple baking classes at ICE (Institute of Culinary Education, NYC, voted IACP’s Culinary School of the Year 2015).
Every summer Sara opens the doors to Lucy’s Coffee Shop, her much loved café in Lily dale, New York,—where she finds expression for her other passion—baking
Chocolate lovers will find Lucy Meifield delicious chocolate bars there. http://lucycoffeeshop.com
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