Compassionate Repair

      

By Shajen Joy Lichtenstein-Aziz, M.Ed., M.A.

Establishing healthy and compassionate boundaries is a form of self-care. When considering others' actions or inactions, take a moment to engage in self-care activities such as pausing, breathing, and listening to your intuition to gain clarity on what truly matters for your well-being. The clearer you are about your boundaries and expectations, the easier it becomes to shape your life in a way that aligns with your values. A new path emerges, filled with love, reciprocity, and respect.   Negative life experiences involving those you care about can leave you confused and upset and your bandwidth maxed and has the potential to create responses from you that may not be your optimal or balanced way. This is why the practice of pause and breathe creates space for you to make clear and compassionate choices.   When feeling reactive and disappointed, recognize that this is a protective mechanism activated when your self-esteem, boundaries, and sense of self have been compromised. You may feel as though your only options are to confront, withdraw, or remain passive. While confrontation may be a natural response, I encourage you to pause and take deep breaths and when ready communicate your needs- while being aware of others perspectives- in a safe, powerful, and respectful and compassionate manner. This is good for you and those around you. Within reciprocity, intimacy, and love can flourish, whether rekindled or newly formed. Reciprocity in relationships involves open discussions and agreements on the meaning of relationships and love. Often, we engage in deep relationships with individuals who express love, but it is essential to explore and understand what that truly means. We are meaning-making beings, and what is considered normal for some may not be so for others. As you embark on new relationships or mend existing ones, engage in challenging conversations rooted in compassion, mutual respect, and well-being. Discuss what love and reciprocity mean in relationships, how to maintain self-love and love for others amidst differences and disharmony, and how to foster open dialogue and compassionate discussions leading to repair.   To facilitate repair, choose a mutually agreed-upon time, place, and agenda to avoid surprises during the conversation. Communicate clearly and compassionately, avoiding blame, judgment, or statements that could harm the relationship. This can be challenging when triggered, emphasizing the importance of personal growth and self-work. Personal responsibility and ongoing accountability are crucial in the repair process when aiming for new outcomes in a relationship. Both parties must take ownership of their actions and reactions and establish an agreed-upon approach to handling disagreements and upsets moving forward. Remember, perfection is not expected, and practice is essential. The more you engage in this process with each other, the more these moments transform into special occasions filled with intimate moments born from mutual respect and love. Shajen Joy Lichtenstein-Aziz, M.Ed., M.A. Award-Winning International Best-selling Author, Educator, Counselor Discover Yourself ~ It's Why I'm Here  http://www.discoverthegift.com http://www.alivingcurriculum.com https://www.linkedin.com/in/shajen-cheyenne-joy-aziz-m-ed-m-a-35053715/ Discover The Gift - It's Why We're Here ~ Published in 28 countries and 26 languages Author and Co-creator  WATCH THE MOVIE ->  GAIA Discover The Gift - It's Why We're Here ~ Published in 28 countries and 26 languages Author and Co-creator  WATCH THE MOVIE ->  GAIA https://www.gaia.com/video/discover-gift AMAZON:https://https://www.amazon.com/Discover-Gift-Shajen-Joy-Aziz http://amzn.to/1qCX2Qa