INTRODUCTION THE BED ALL TO YOURSELF

Reconnect with yourself, your body, and your femininity in your bed
 

Claim your bed: expand, stretch, mark territory, explore angles and depths . . . leave not a single corner of this magical carpet uncharted.
 
Jump in without seeking permission from anyone.
No half measures.
No need to turn the light on or off.
Do whatever you please in your bed.
Discover and soar, without anyone attached to your experience.
Dive into your bed to create or be reborn, to dream with exorbitant clarity, to seek guidance, and to rub shoulders with the nocturnal spirits, as the queen and mistress of this sacred realm.
 
Surrender to the astonishment of discovering that your inner power—the balance of your physical, mental, and emotional body—needs this restorative night. When you are alone, the process of cellular repair and detoxification that comes with rest happens impeccably and without interference.
 
Crawl, rub, inhale and exhale; lie down in bed alone, convinced that this opportunity integrates your birth and death, your conception and your departure. All at the same time.
 
Delve into the depths of your mysticism—which beats in the mitochondria of your cells—and swallow your saliva to rejuvenate, taking advantage of the darkness that heals everything.
 
It is in bed where the pleasure of sleeping alone manifests in all its possibilities. It is here that these rituals will give you guidance and power, enabling you to discover a new connection with your being and with the universe.
 
By sleeping alone, you are already embarking on this path of inner growth and evolution. Sleeping alone is a spiritual practice of high vibration, and thus it holds great power for transformation. In your waking life, you'll witness the magic that unfolds when you remain connected to your core essence, undisturbed by external energies during sleep.
 
IN DEFENSE OF SLEEPING ALONE
 
Through personally gathering feedback among women of all ages and relationship statuses (single, married, living together, separated, newly married, divorced, deeply in love, moderately in love, passionately in love, disenchanted, or fascinated with their partners), an overwhelming majority—nearly all—agreed that they sleep better alone. Many of them feel guilty about admitting this. They believe that by acknowledging this desire, they are “betraying their partners” and often they will endure more than is necessary before asking their partner to let them breathe alone for an entire night.
 
Some are ashamed to admit their urgent need for that solitary space.
 
Others are afraid of being judged and questioned by the status quo: “If you don't sleep with your partner, it's because you have problems.” Women often feel obligated to explain themselves for an act of sovereignty that breaks some of the rules of Western behavior.
 
Many of them confess that when their partners go on trips, are away for work, take time apart, or even temporarily leave the bed, these are the happiest nights of their lives.
 
They crave some nights apart from their partners, a chance to breathe a few nights a month . . .
. . . to stretch as they please,
. . . to undress without anyone touching them,
. . . to take up the whole bed,
. . . to fall asleep sprawling across it,
. . . to move as they want,
. . . to dream without someone else's vibration intermingling with theirs,
. . . to leave the light on to read until dawn,
. . . to binge-watch a series,
. . . or simply to open all the channels of the body and spirit to the pure enjoyment of sensation.
 
My intention with these rituals is not for you to get divorced, break up, or fight with your partner. Rather, my hope is that you will begin to discover that you can enter a sacred territory in the night journey and create an experience absolutely unique, only for you.
 
In fact, a 2023 study by the Better Sleep Council of the United States confirms that sleeping apart resolves sleep problems for couples.
 
The report found that 63 percent of couples do not sleep together for most of the night. Moreover, 26 percent of respondents said they slept better alone, and 9 percent admitted to sleeping in separate bedrooms. The same survey found that nearly two in ten Americans considered the ideal house to be one with separate master bedrooms.
 
HOW TO IMPLEMENT IT?
 
My premise, dear reader, is that you are sovereign. Start believing it and repeating this mantra whenever you remember.
 
Say to yourself:
 
• I am sovereign and I decide when and how to sleep accompanied.
• I choose to listen to my hormones and the intelligence of my heart as I decide to be queen of my space.
• I embrace the freedom to choose solitude or companionship in my sleep.
 
You can also record yourself on your phone saying: “I am not afraid to express my truth and my desire to seek undisturbed rest, without the interference of someone else’s movements, smells, noises, or sounds that influence my nocturnal practice.”
 
Having said that, establish why you want to embark on this journey and, above all, understand that what you will do is a detoxification of centuries of cultural, educational, and ancestral impositions. But, most importantly, remember that you have every right to sleep alone.
 
This practice is beneficial for your body, mind, and spirit at the highest levels; through this work you will start to notice and activate those benefits.
 
If you already sleep alone, use the rituals to understand what happens to your mind and body at a cellular level; if you sleep with someone else, you could start sleeping alone once or twice a week.
 
Remember that this is a spiritual practice with great benefits and that, like any inner path, it requires responsibility and determination. Of course, be very mindful of what you want and need from this work.
 
Separate rooms are a blessing.
 
Separate beds are a wise choice, but they are not ideal, as they still keep the other's energy too close each night.
 
The truth is that, with whichever option you choose, it is very important to explore the wonderful and unique opportunity to sleep alone in order to find yourself in other dimensions.
 
WHAT IF YOU DON'T HAVE THE SPACE OR THE OPTION TO SPEND A NIGHT ALONE?
 
If you don't have a room to sleep alone, start to see your alternatives within the situation you live in. Be creative and don't despair—simply proposing to try a night alone is already a great step on your path of evolution.
 
For example, consider having separate mattresses in your room so you can sleep without anyone touching you. This way, even if you share your room, you will already have more autonomy, and you will be able to start feeling the benefits of this practice in your body. If this is impossible and you must stay in a shared bed, you can engage in spiritual practices to create and activate energetic space and distance around yourself. Sleeping alone is a spiritual and hygienic act; therefore, it is related to the cleansing of your physical body as well as the subtle bodies that surround you.
 
In order for you to generate this energetic distance, the first thing you will need to do before going to bed is to take a bath or shower. Wash your body consciously; you must be present in the act of removing and releasing dead cells, bacteria, remnants of the day, pollution, and toxins. As you bathe, request that you may clean every corner and, at the same time, talk to the water so that it fills you with grace and energy, creating an invisible barrier on your skin from head to toe. Do not forget to wash between your fingers, armpits, neck, and areas that you normally do not touch during the day.
 
Dry yourself gently with the intention of caring for your body's invisible protective layer—you are generating an absolutely unique and personal energy field that you complement when you put on your pajamas and get into bed.
 
Your intention is your guide—you have decided to spend the night alone even if you have someone next to you. With your skin protected, now, before sleeping, bring a request for light and glory to your whole being, activating your inner power and calling your visible and invisible benefactors. Breathe with your head on the pillow; visualize your body fully cared for and supported by forces greater than human and ask for lucid dreams that give you good news, that rebirth you with each breath. You will see how the physical presence of another being next to you will be blurred, and your experience of sleeping alone will be incomparable to anything you have experienced so far.
 
In this way, you are capable of creating the energy of sleeping alone even if you have to sleep with someone else. New synapses will form, strengthening your neural circuits and deepening your understanding, so that you have total success during the night.
 

Author Bio: Cynthia Zak is a ceremonialist, master in yoga and meditation, author of five books, and a singer-songwriter with over 150 published songs and melodies. She is a researcher in the science of sound as medicine, a HeartMath Institute therapist, birth doula and end-of-life doula, and founder and director of the Yomu Institute. She travels the world teaching her practices to children, teachers, parents, business leaders, and healthcare professionals. Her background and spiritual practices are in Sufism, Buddhism, Kabbalah, and shamanism. A mother of three, she lives in Miami Beach, Florida. https://cynthiazak.org/
 
The Joy of Sleeping Alone by Cynthia Zak, published by Inner Traditions International and Bear & Company, © 2025. All rights reserved.  http://www.Innertraditions.com
Reprinted with permission of publisher.